Thursday, December 10, 2009 '

B.O.R.E.D

DARN
I WANT A OFFICE
I WANT TO HAVE A OFFICE JOB
I LIKE TO WORK IN A OFFICE

WHY AM I STUCK WITH RETAIL AT THE RESORT WORLD
OH MY GOD

I SERIOUSLY WANT A OFFICE JOB
OFFICE JOB
OFFICE JOB
OFFICE JOB

seriously
i only realised the foly of my actions when i realised a had SO MUCH TIME TI SPARE
actually i had this weird premonition i wold regret gg for the job interview
i had so many weird happenings ongoing tha day
or you may describe it as suay-nessthose bad feelings are enough to make to NOT go for the job interview
so now im stuck there
what's worse is i have this feeling i'll be out there before i know it
OH COME ON they need the cream of the crop
and im so not. -.-
i URGENTLY need to start work like next week before my brain degerates away
leaving a empty shell and before i know it
i'll start asking people what's my name
HAHAHAHAHAHHA ok thats exaggerating
BUT I SRSLY HATE RETAIL
omg, i think im like some dumb person doing silly things
i want aoffice job thats close to town and that works 9 to maybe 5 or 6 WTH
i JUST WANT A FREAKING OFFICE JOB

okay thou shall just believe
whateve's meant to be is meant to be
hopefully maybe i'll get a office job and the sentosa people decided to kick me out of their staff
whatever., im just praying everything will turn out fine! :D

so now, im bored and have given up trying to find another job cos all the events jobs are like almost impossible to find
and i need to convince myself im totally in love with retails hahahaha
so i shall start enriching myself
BUT WHERE DO I START
i really duno what courses are there that helps ur employability
hopefuly another language?
and maybe i'll try some admin courses ( my office job ): )
WHATEVER!
I shall STOP staying at home and sleep and eat liek some pig
I NEEDA MOOVE AROUND :D
YAYAYAYAYYAAAYYYYYYYYY

tomorrow will be a better day!

5 DOs:
1. Thou believe i can be a extremely good retail personnal
2. Thou shalt stop thinking about how great and magnificient office jobs are
3. Thou shalt believe that office jobs are much horrible than retail jobs
3. Thou shalt wake up by 8 and sleep at 12 everything
4. Thou shalt learn new things everyday and stop whinng anout a office job
5. Thou shalt rremind myself i make a great choice in choosing retail

okay, i realised im so OBSSESSED about having a office job
i need a cure for this!
dang
i really duno how to tell my mom about sat's concert
she'll like totally kill me D:

SELF REMINDER:
you're gna get a new phone and ipod Touch
better save money or start working to get money

I LOVE TODAY ( or so i lead myself to believe)
BYEEE :D

ღ 4:08 PM

Monday, December 07, 2009 '

CLUBBING

OHMYGOODNESS!
its been like SO MANY MONTHS SINCE I LAST POSTED
alright
all ready for some updates!
a levels was so not a breeze even after preparation for close to 2 years
seems like the 2 yrs in jc is awsted -.-

BUT POST PROM WAS FABULOUS
still rmb that the 9 days between the 2nd last paper to bio p1 was spend on SHOPPPINGG!!
needless to say i spend heaps of money
>< yikesss

i have always anticipated those fun gatherings whereby everyone gets loads of fun trying to put on make up and go to prom together
:D it was great
though i was frantcally panicking at shan shan's house
it was commendable that i placed my contacts at a incredibly fast speed

everyone turned out SO WOW-ed
seriously i felt a bit underdressed
but i dont care :D i feel secure with my jacket :D

class dinner was at some cafe at clarke quay
i loved the golden ale beer but hated the strong liquor taste of the indian ale
it was alright but i have always loved sweet stuff :D
dinner was a few pizzas which was fabulous :D
PIZZA'S MY LOVE YOU KNOW
and i realised AURINA LOVES PIZZA LIKE I DO TOO!

after dinner we headed to the bridge for some photoshoots
seriously girls ARE ALWAYS INTO TAKING PHOTOS :D
(im starting to get pretty lazy to carry on typing)

my feet were already tired and i had several bilsters
man i hate walking in hgh heels thankfully i brought scandals to change or you'll see me bare footed walking around hahahah

oh yea, next stop was some bar beside rebel
went there with teh sole aim to get high
lol
supposed to take some salt drink tequila and suck lemon
but shireena said that salt with alcohol makes ppl high easily so i skipped taking salt
i DO NOT WANT TO GET HIGH SO EASILY
who knows what i'll do!! ):
anyway the tequila was great and i love the mix with coke and sprite and b4 i know it i was a bit high
HAHAHHAHAAHAH

CLUBBING IS BORING UNLESS YOUR FRIENDS ARE HIGH
thats what i deduced so far!
the beat is nice and everything except those disgusting guys who like to stick to ppl
yes, i was one poor victim who had this rather irritaing disgusting desperate guy who keeps sticking to me and whenever i move THAT IDOIT FOLLOWED
it totally ruin my mood!! i was having so much fun til that instant the guy stick to me
DAMN PISSED OFF and kind aurina keep pulling me in! :D
oh that happened like at around 4 am
LOL

before that was quite fun! drinking and dancing!
rebel full of youth while zirca is full of 'ang mohs'
seriously the only difference in the music in zirca is the accompanying music
the beat is forever the same
i duno how those ppl get high
LOADS OF NANYANG PEOPLE WENT THERE seems like nanyang clubbing la
anyway there are loads of different ppl there so weird
i think if i ever go back clubbbing it's essential for guy company -.-
im lazy bye

ღ 1:20 PM

Thursday, June 11, 2009 '

my engine will you pleasee start
i don't want to slack off my whole hols
i want to be a mugger!!! ):

TODAY was argh. feel like strangling myself!
WHY DO I GET DISTRACTED SO EASILY!
& i think i need to get rid of my horrible habit of taking books at the lib
HAHAHAHA. today was lazy to go down to the 1st floor of amk lib
BUT THAT DID NOT DETER ME FROM TAKING BOOKs
& where did i find myself at?
THE CHINESE SECTION!
mygod was i shocked that i was browsing through those chinese books
I absolutely hate chinese but my stupid hands just wont stop flipping
& eyes wont stop looking
i think suffer from some book related disease
LOLOL.

ok today was somewhat produ... ok i shall not lie to myself anymore
I HAVE NOT BEEN PRODUCTIVE THESE DAYS
i've successfully slacked my whole day of ytd away
& today i wasted my time reading chinese novels
lol this shows how great my dislike for studying is!
I EVEN ATTEMPTED TO READ CHIN NOVELS!! D:

i do hate studying but i am in no position to choose
i have to mug real hard
I WANA GET INTO A UNIVERSITYYYYYYYYYY!
or more like i neeed so much to get into it
i dont want to study for nothing and waste my time in a jc
GOGOGO LADY!

;;

gosh
i do realise how much a disappointment i can be to certain ppl
but i think im turning into a really self concious person who is really selfish.
& yes, my brain is shrinking once again
MYGOD. i can literally feel the brain shrinking each day passes.
I WILL NOT GIVE UP
I MUST SWIMM ONE DAY :D:D:D:D:D:D ( or jog. wadever no link :D)

ღ 8:01 PM

Friday, June 05, 2009 '

I FEEL LIKE SLACKING....
SLACKING.....
SLACKING.....

my outburst energy is gone with the wind!!!
all i wanna do now is go to church tml
DANG DANG DANG.
i think I'm in those fickle minded mood.
NONONOO
must study * PSYCHO MYSELF*
OK I'm being animated here -.-

i wanna sleep wanna play
no i wanna be home bound.
I WANNA MUG
aah, those contradicting wants.
=/

loads of stuff to do & THERES ABSOLUTELY NO TIME TO SPARE
& its funny that i still waste my precious time here updating my blog....
OK. im gna go check out stuff & study(i hope)

I LOVE MATHS BIO CHEM ECONSSSSS..
( :D:D:D:D:D IM GOOD AT PSYCHO-ING MYSELF IM SURE!)

ღ 10:26 PM

today was a very boring bla bla bla bla...
now, this is getting pretty boring. -.- -.-

today:
went to sch to hand in bio file
I AM PROUD OF MYSELF
to be bothered to wake up to hand in the bio file! :D
took circle line all by myself :D:D
YAY. IM STARTING TO GET INDEPENDENT!

after that went to study with miki
surprising today had GREAT GREAT urge to study at 4
then omg, had to leave at 5 plus -.- -.-
then reached home had urge to jog
LOL! WHATS WITH THIS SUDDEN OUTBURST OF ENERGY??
i think im too frustrated over EVERYTHING
then wana run to destress
I DID intend to continue to study but too irritated to continue
so yea, IM HERE TO DESTRESS.
DESTRESSSSSSS.

(damn i regret leaving the lib im turning into a slacker now)
WTHWTH! wheres my independent mind!!!!!! D:

**

:D IM FEELING HAPPIER NOW
OFF TO FRIENDS :D:D
i'll be there for youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

ღ 7:25 PM

Wednesday, June 03, 2009 '

i wana turn into a fish & swim swim swim
lol.

alright.
had enough with this temper tantrums
WHOA
all my money is flying further & further away
TIME TO SAVE!
im gg to save like lotsa money AFTER june hols to pay off my debts
i have aplenty & amelia's constant nagging is gg to sink in
(i promise after june hols pleaseeee?)
i wana like eat all those food ive always wanted to try
NOT indulge nonono, i wanted to try
indulging would be jacks place & gelare ( im not eating those (:)
indulging would be turning on the computer for hoursssss
alamak! i think im really doing that again
ok im gna like embrace my bio tutorial now
TATA! :D:D:D im happy :D
FRIENDS FTW! i adore sarcasm
btw the biggest losers just pisses me off today D:
& chocolate is an indugence that has become my necessity XD

ღ 8:14 PM

I NEED A LIB AT HOME LOL

i wish for my mind to start turning so i can study
i have to stay in the lib from 10 to 9 daily
but oh well,
i hate being alone.
so yea, im home bound & im hating it
its like you know theres this way of staying in the lib to mug instead of slacking at home
but you just had to stay at home & slack
cos theres no one person that can accompany you through the whole week to mug in the lib
THIS SUCKS cos i know i wont go there alone
or i'll start getting really sad
DARN DARN DARN.
i have to convince myself to go there ALONE
cos eventually .............................
yea thats about it.

life is mundane boring
& im so so in deficit that im not gna go out to eat anymore
im sick of trying to amuse & please myself when i feel a big hole in my pocket
being happy is not akin to good food or self indulgene or getting more money
its my mondset
yay psycho myself to be happy
LALALALALA.
im happy (:
i have family & friends, i guess.
i dk, dk, dk

i want to swim, go workout & jogging
STRESS GO AWAY.

ღ 8:02 PM

Thursday, May 14, 2009 '

blues

i feel just so freaking alone all the time
like theres noone to turn to for help
well, just that noone actually comforts you
when ure like damn low or attempt to cheer you up
damn sad bla bla all the shit
i duno?
maybe its just im thinking too much

i just feel like alone. always.

i have no life
im walloping in self pity
im just so pessimistic -.-\

why is it that i have the impression that i have to study nonstop?
& schools' all about studying
nah its NOT true its about friendships
but i don feel it
I DUNO. DUNO DUNO DUNO >=/
im in this 'i hate everything in my life now' mood.

i need to inject life into my life or i'll just rot away -.-

ღ 5:56 PM

Thursday, April 30, 2009 '

**doesnt belong here)

ok im lazy to switch to my another blog SO FOR NOW I SHALL BLOG HERE
& just transfer it there one day
im sick of trying to be less mindful of stuff
im sick of trying to say its ok all the time when i feel shitty
im sick of waiting for ppl to know im pissed i just show them i pissed
im sick of having to keep a straight face when i'm breaking down
i numb in fact to all these.
urgh. why am i posting this anyway.
(i think ppl assume im mad when im not; assume im tired when im emo-ing/sad/breaking down; assume im emo/sad when im just thinking of my workload)

i'll nv stop worrying
i like the reflief after the worry
fear when my worry becomes reality

i want to be independent but sometimes i just crave company
its weird cos when i really needed a lift i was all alone
when im feeling all happy and smiles i see ppl around me

then i get so irritated that i alone that i start flaring up the next person i come into contact to. apologies to those ppl who endured my shitty temper.

i've had enough i swear
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHWTH

ღ 11:12 PM

bluesssssss

sometimes,
i feel like im in a dimension
then another & i hop to another & i sucked in to another
maybe that accounts for my different beviourism among different ppl.

TODAY I FINALLY CUT MY HAIR
HUITING YOU CAN GIVE ME 10 DOLLARS :D:D

frustrated.

i did studied, dint i?
no, its never enough!
its like a jerk that wakes me up from a horrible nightmare
I DONT WANT IT TO BE REALITY
i will start revision despite being forced to
but not today
its my time to seriously do some deep soul searching :D
(aka emo session)

family i've taken for granted.
health i've also taken for granted
im gna start treasuring them.
i need to know more about people's family
to understand that my family may be envy of others
I DO LOVE MY FAMILY
cos i realised NOTHING can ever substitute them
bonding time ~

today was a breeze once again
i realised that im trying too hard to be someone im not really
(i think Amelia's influencing me too much)
so im just gona sit back & relax & go with the flow

ITS ALL ABOUT ME
when did i think of others
selfsih freaks like me is just so so irrittaing
inconsiderate ppl are even more irritaing
im pissed i swear i can start shooting everyone
i think im entering critism mode
often i speak without thinking
but recently i started to speak many hurtful words about ppl whom i REALLY DONT MEAN IT
but i just say it naturally
extremely appalled that such disgustful words can leave my mouth
just wad am i turning into??

-end of soul searching-
i'll emo somewhere else

TODAY's break WAS HILARIOUS
I THINK ITS JUST ME
the sights of seeing people actually running to the canteen perked me up instantly
reason being I FEEL LIKE ITS SO SO EXAGGERATED!
often the telly shows have some exaggerated shows whereby ppl rush/run to school canteen to get food
i cant believe this just hapened to my school
just watch the whole situation pla infront of my eyes
it just takes one person to start the ball rolling & others will follow suit
HAHAHAHAH
i was laughing along with shimin
HAHAHAHHA, ( as usual i was waliking ultra fast to rush for food)
dint expect the canteen still full,
no lah its only CHIN WOK
SHCOKED
A BIG CROWD IN FRONT
i think practically the whole class buying! --
it's funny that ppl have to snatch for a piece of fish
oh come on, buy a fish & steam it urself?

random though: i was to be a baddie!
i want to make ppl hate me
i think im gg insane!

ok im too tired to think
leave some energy to self reflect!

ღ 10:49 PM